How to Deal with People Who Come Ringing Your Bell

It's election time here so I just had someone ring my bell on behalf of a political candidate. Got me thinking (see no. 2 below).

1. This one is particularly recommended for Jehovah's Witnesses and such types: "Look up. Do you realize you're standing under a wasps' nest?" Then of course they're in a hurry to get the Hell out of there. This might only work if you actually have a wasps' nest above your door. I did for a while--it was really great for that purpose!--but then I got rid of the nest.
2. If it's someone canvassing for a political candidate, act totally crazy: "I'm voting for Pericles this year. He's what Athens really needs right now!"
3. Proposition them sexually. Maybe not really recommended.

Copyright (c) 2011 by Richard Stein