Stein's Laws

At one point everybody seemed to be promulgating their "laws." We had Murphy's Law, Parkinson's Law, the Peter Principle.

Well, here are a few of my own "laws."

1. You usually get an itch when can't scratch it because you've got both hands full.
2. The quality of the food at a restaurant is inversely proportional to the amount of hype from the management. In other words, the more a restaurant hypes its food (e.g., "the best . . . in the world") the worse it actually is. Good food will speak for itself.
3. Within 10 minutes after buying gas, you see it cheaper.
4. That stock you thought about buying—but didn't—will triple or quadruple.
5. As soon as you switch off the vacuum, you notice at least two visible bits of dirt on the floor.
6. Gas station employees should not be asked directions because they don't know the area beyond half a mile from where they are standing.
7. When a new building has been built, you can't remember what used to stand there.
8. Law (or advice) for Asian business people (e.g., people who run Chinese restaurants, stores, etc.): If you need to give an explanation to an Occidental customer, you can give her any BS, because (1) you're smarter than they are, and (2) they won't understand you anyway.
9. Two men who have similar patterns of facial hair are going to be perceived as "looking alike."
10. Sometimes life will give you a second chance. But don't ever, ever expect that you'll get a third chance.
11. Elvis is dead but Picasso lives.

Copyright © 2012 by Richard Stein