Along with many others who hold conservative views, anti-gay people often are hard-pressed to support their views with good, logical arguments.
Someone else--a frequent poster and commenter on HuffPost (formerly Huffington Post) who has, to my mind, intelligent and progressive views—pointed out that if you ask anti–gay marriage people how or why a same-sex couple getting married will affect them, they typically will simply change the subject. Because they can't show any way in which it would affect them, let alone hurt them.
Similarly and again on HuffPost, I challenged a woman (I think the person in question is female but it's often hard to tell their gender from people's online handles) to answer this question: If being gay is a choice, as she maintained, explain to me why anyone would choose to be gay—when being gay means discrimination in many spheres, being told you're a sinner from the pulpit, and even being physically attacked.
Her reply was that people "choose" to be gay to shirk responsibility or avoid pregnancy.
I assume that the responsibility she refers to means the responsibilities, etc., of being a parent. Well, many gay couples these days—mainly lesbian couples but definitely gay male couples as well—do want to be parents and do so through adoption or other means.
Second, many gay men are in fact married and may have fathered children in those marriages. Particularly among my generation, many gay men got married when they were young. (These marriages sometimes are successful but frequently end in divorce, so I'd say that generally it's not a good idea. Still, in these cases you can't say they have shirked the responsibilities of marriage and/or parenthood.)
As to her other argument, about avoiding pregnancy. That's simply silly. People can (and of course do) avoid pregnancy and conception, both within and outside marriage—and that has absolutely nothing to do with being gay.
So, my point is, press these people to back up their opinions and you get replies that are lame at best, totally nonsensical at worst. I have a feeling that, even as they are saying these things, they know they're not making very good sense. But is that going to make them open their minds? You know my answer to that question. Post a comment if you believe I'm wrong.
Copyright © 2012 by Richard Stein
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What an odd reply she had, I had never heard that one before, hah. As you mentioned, I knew a guy who had been married for 40 years, who also fathered one child, and he was gay. I'd say he's quite the antithesis of her claim.
ReplyDeleteBut let's say she's hypothetically correct (she's not), and all gays are trying to shirk responsibility, or avoid pregnancy. You don't want a baby, or don't want a significant other? Hey, power to you! What's wrong with not wanting responsibility? Why should you have to get married or raise children?
I wonder why some people can be so strongly anti-gay. Maybe the fear of something unfamiliar? Or homosexuality makes them question their own sexual preferences? Or people are simply believing what they're told by people they respect? I just don't understand why some people care so much about who a person has sex with.
I'll take it one step further. I say have sex with whatever you want! That watermelon in the supermarket catching your eye? Go for it! That donkey in the pen is calling you over? Neeiighh! That body in the morgue sending chills down your spine? Hell ya! You can find a consenting child? Bring the candy! I say, live your life to the fullest, and enjoy what you're attracted to.
I like the article Richard.
I appreciate your comment.
ReplyDeleteIn line with what you say, Martha Nussbaum, a law professor at the University of Chicago, has said that she feels that a lot of homophobia stems from people's revulsion at the thought of actual same-sex sex acts.
You wrote two other comments and I tried to approve them (publish them), but I may have screwed up because they don't appear here as they should. I greatly apologize.
I retract what I said: your comments were on another post and they do appear, in their proper place.
DeleteI'm afraid that not very many people would have such a laissez-faire view of sex as you are taking here.
Last, I appreciate your becoming a member of my blog. I don't blog on sexuality very often.